Healing through Sacred Sorrows: Christmas came in April this year

Sacred Sorrows welcomes Kathy Derdzinski, a member of our community and contributing writer. She spends her time spinning away on her Peloton bike that goes nowhere, hiking in the mountains, traveling and doing crossword and other word puzzles. She is married to Joe and they have three children: Nicholas and Katherine (who also live in Denver), and Christopher, who went to heaven in April 2023.

Well, here we are again: Christmas is just days away and the end of the year is fast approaching! I remember how hard it was leaving behind 2023, the year our son died. I dreaded the stroke of midnight, knowing that that year was gone and with it the concrete realization that time was moving on without our dear son, Christopher. It’s hard sometimes to be thankful or positive during this time of year. For me, like others, it is also a time to look backwards at the year and reflect.

I do have so much to be thankful for. Shortly after the beginning of the 2025 year I was sitting in a lodge weeding through my emails waiting for my husband and daughter to take a break from skiing. An interesting email caught my eye about a retreat for grieving moms. I opened it and tried to search my memory for my connection to Sacred Sorrows. Obviously at some point I had come across this ministry and signed up for their emails. I saw that there were two retreats, one in Arizona and one in California. I live in Denver, Colorado, so Arizona made sense. But then I saw that the one in California was at a Jesuit retreat house and I believe I was being called to go there. Our son Christopher’s middle name is Ignatius and Saint Ignatius was the founder of the Jesuit order. The Jesuits hold a special place in our hearts.

In April 2025, I found myself in Los Altos, California, at a Sacred Sorrows retreat. I was so nervous with no idea what to expect. I remember sitting in my room right after I got there wondering what I had gotten myself into. Little did I know that I was about to receive an amazing gift. Now, sitting here days before Christmas, I’m unwrapping all that the retreat gave me. I am blessed to have a closer relationship with a God who loves me and only wants the best for me; I have a whole new group of women that I call my Sacred Sorrows sisters, who are there for me and praying for me whenever I need them; I have a new sense of peace that I carry with me when I think about my beautiful son, Christopher; and, I carry in my heart so many words from Fr. John Auther, Rita, and all the brave women that shared their sorrow and pain with me that weekend.

Thank you, Rita, and thank you my Sacred Sorrows sisters for bringing Christmas to me in April and giving me the best gift I received this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!