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A blessing for when you've lost someone far too soon

Kate Bowler, Ph.D. is a 3x New York Times bestselling author, award-winning podcast host, and professor at Duke University. Kate was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35. While she was in treatment and not expected to survive, she wrote two New York Times bestselling memoirs, Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved) and No Cure For Being Human (and Other Truths I Need to Hear). After years of being told she was incurable, she was declared cancer-free. But she was forever changed by what she discovered: life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone. Kate is determined to create a gentler world for everyone who wants to admit that they are not “living their best life.” She hosts the Everything Happens podcast where, in warm, insightful, often funny conversations, she talks with people about what they’ve learned in difficult times. Author of seven books, she lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her family and continues to teach do-gooders at Duke Divinity School.


A blessing for when you've lost someone far too soon by Kate C. Bowler


God, this. This is impossible.


This grief is too much to bear.


If there was a tight order

to the world that you made,

it’s come unspooled

and no one will wind it up again.


God, I feel it coming,

that ache for the stories that will never be told.

And an anger rising

when i remember

what never should have been.


Worst of all – God, could anything be worse? –

it is so beautiful

the way this grief is a language of love.


I am lovesick with this much sorrow.

Teach me to speak this new mother tongue.

Show me how to memorize

what I can never forget

what they gave and what is gone,

and what we were owed

by a world robbed of their presence.


Hold me by the edges

for I am coming apart.

And nothing but love

will find me.


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