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There is no Deserve

As a contributing writer and member of the Sacred Sorrows community, Lani Bogart shares a fierce love with her son Evan, who went to heaven in February 2022. As she learns to be here without him, she stands on the essentials of faith and hope and longs for the day when Love is All. (1 Cor 13:13) Lani is supported by her devoted husband Doug and her children Jonathan, Cana & Ennie, Christopher, and Xhiv.

"I truly have a blessed life. I truly don't deserve it. . . There is no deserve. There just is." - Evan Daniel Bogart

Countless times, I've watched and listened to the above words accompanying a video Evan's friends shared after his funeral services. I've savored the sound of Evan's voice. I've pondered the turn of his thoughts from the idea that he needed to deserve the good things in life to the acceptance that "there is no deserve, there just is." I'm so thankful that he navigated that turn.

Some years ago my family had a get-together to celebrate my receiving a Master's Degree. They told me how proud they were of me, but I struggled to receive their congratulations. I wonder if they could tell? When I'm disappointed in myself it is hard to feel I deserve congratulations. How easily the awareness of our own failures and weaknesses robs us of the fullness of life available at any given moment.

And that's where the Love of God comes in. My love falls short over and over again, but God's love never does. His love redeems my failures. I'm surrounded by a love I could never deserve. It just is.

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Wow Lani, that is truly a blessing, that quote from your son. I hope that it continues to give you great comfort, it seems he was far wiser than most of us. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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